Through the cloud of his rapid breathing in the cold December air, Rusty stared out, through the woods he is momentarily nestled in, at the Christmas lights that illuminate the small town square. It’s not supposed to be like this, Rusty thought. After catching his breath, he looked around him to make sure he was not being followed and set out in search of a home traced with a glow of the Christmas lights, and a tree proudly displayed in the front window. If they can’t find me a family for Christmas, I’ll do it myself.It was a rather desperate attempt, but in the mind of an eleven year old, what other hope did he have?
Rusty has lived nearly all of his life in the margins, as an asterisk. Deprived of the most rudimentary necessities that modern society assumes an infant should receive, such as care, love, and affection. Upon the discovery of the depth of this child's depravity, the state finally intervened, and in the absence or apathy of the next of kin, he was placed into the system. As time passed and Rusty developed from an infant to a toddler, so he was passed from family to family. Finally, at the age of six a young couple materialized and choose to adopt this young child with developmental deficiencies and developing anger and rage issues. For the first time in his young life, Rusty felt loved. The anger was still deeply ingrained within Rusty, and despite his rage and problems in school, their love remained unconditional, though at the cost of this young couple's marital bond. The couple split up and Rusty went to live with his adoptive father. As time continued on its steady course, Rusty grew into a sweet, polite, and kind boy, though the anger still remained nestled deep within. Rusty continued to have his issues in school, and the father's mind often wandered into thoughts of how long his love for Rusty could remain unconditional, and it took a toll on the father's health. Rusty took the unexpected death of his father especially hard. In Rusty's limited time on earth, this man was the only person who stood by his side and loved him, despite his anger problems, though through Rusty's limited I.Q. all he saw was that his daddy wasn't waking up. Once more Rusty was passed back to the adoptive mother, who this time, was less eager to take him in. Now whenever this mother looked at Rusty all she saw was a reminder of her deceased ex-husband, whom she resented, and this child's now magnified anger problem. Rusty, now nine, could not explain let alone control his easily triggered anger and rage issues, it was all that he knows, a product of his tragic up bringing. For the next year the mother unknowingly projected her resentment of her ex-husband onto Rusty, and when he would act out she would constantly tell him what a bad child he was and in her frustration yell such things as, "you don't deserve parents!" Without knowing any better, Rusty began to believe the words of his mother and as a result, he began to have worse and worse behaviors, and once again the state intervened and took Rusty out of the home and placed him in a residential home with other boy with shared behavior problems.
The staff at the residential home quickly grew found of Rusty, despite his frequent outbursts. Each night, staff would pray with Rusty, he could have yelled, screamed, and cursed at them, throwing objects and threats, but no matter the circumstance, the staff would always pray with him and thank God for Rusty and for what a good boy he was, and with his eyes shut tight, hands crossed, and rocking forwards and back, Rusty would quietly repeat that mantra over and over to himself, "I'm a good boy, I'm a good boy."
Before he knew it, Rusty had been at the residential home for nearly nine months, and the holidays were quickly approaching. Rusty has had his fair share of ups and downs while at the home, but overall Rusty has come a long way since he was first brought to the home, and it came time for his mother to work towards bringing Rusty back home. Still unknowingly projecting her resentment towards her ex-husband, and concerned for her own safety, the mother informed Rusty that he would not be invited back to his home. Rusty was all alone once more, and though this was by no means uncharted territory for him, the sting ran deeper. He found himself getting frustrated over the oddest things, such as his Silly Bands getting tangled together on his wrist.
"Stupid Silly Bands, they should be called Idiot Bands!" he yelled to no one in particular.
Rusty found himself becoming sad for no reason and cried uncontrollably in the most inopportune times, such as at church. "I just want a family!" Rusty would cry. "Is it too much to ask that someone could find it in their heart to love me enough to let me live with them? I can be a good boy! I promise! I could try!"
The staff would often try to comfort Rusty, and would ask him what he wants in a family. "Well, they can't have any other kids, well maybe some kids, but I'd prefer they didn't have any other kids. They got to live on a farm and have lots of animals. And Shrimp, they got to be really good at cooking shrimp, like the best shrimp in the world!" Rusty's face would light up each time he was asked what he would want in a prospective family. And so he waited, and waited, and waited. Days went by, weeks went by, but still not any movement towards a family. Finally, Rusty could wait no longer, if they couldn't even find him a family without any kids, who live on a farm with lots of animals, and can cook the worlds greatest shrimp, then he would have to do it himself, he had to have a family for Christmas. He emptied the contents of backpack on the floor of his room, and stuffed as much clothes as he could, and made sure he had enough room for his stuffed bunny. When the timing was right, he bolted out the door and ran as fast as he could towards the woods, as the snow started to gently fall.
Rusty began to shiver as the snow continued to fall, he pictured himself in front of a fire with his new family, opening presents, and the thought kept him warm. If he stood perfectly still he could hear the faint cry in the background, "Rusty! Rusty! Where are you? Rusty?" He knew he could not go back, not without a family. He continued on, following the the glow of Christmas lights he saw through the woods. Rusty made his way through barbed wire fences, across creeks and fallen trees and finally came to the house. This could be my new home! he thought to himself. "Rusty? Rusty!" he could hear voices calling his name further back in the woods, but he marched on, around the side of the house and up to the front door.
He rang the door bell and took a step back, surveying the home of the family that would surely take him in as one of their own. He noticed a Christmas tree in the front window with a fire roaring in the fireplace. Just as the door to the house opened up the voices from the woods grew louder, and beams of light from their flashlights shown forth from behind the trees.
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